And we're back!!!

I'd been thinking about how slowly the project had been progressing, and wondering what I could or should do to 'fix' that. I started to think, "Maybe I shouldn't press things, and just see how it plays out. If it's slow going... it was meant to be that way." I still don't believe that there is a right or wrong answer necessarily, but I do want to pick up the pace a bit to try and be as successful as possible by the end of next year. I started debating if I should send more personal invitations or try to invite more groups of people to hang out together. Sometimes I have to remind myself that "This is Facebook. People are not constantly checking it to actually organize outings. Often their checking to see if there are any new messages or comments, drop a witty status update, post a picture, etc." So I might have to be a bit more proactive in my approach. We'll see what happens, and what works.

So yesterday, I got a Facebook message from my buddy Jesse early in the morning. He was going to be playing for a church in the next town over from me (Teaneck), and wanted to see if I was available to meet up for lunch. As my schedule for the day was very light, I was excited and 100% down!



Jesse and I have been friends since college. He is an extremely talented, versatile and in-demand musician. He plays in several bands ('Soul Cycle' just released a new CD), and is also a great producer/beat maker. We've worked together several times. The last time that I saw Jesse, I'd brought several friends to a club in the city, where his band Soul Cycle was playing. We caught up briefly and since then have sent a couple of Facebook messages/comments back and forth.

We met up at Veggie Heaven, a local vegetarian restaurant. I suggested it because it's good food, and I remember Jesse being a vegetarian. We talked at length about work, music, relationships and social interaction in the digital age. We both thought it was interesting how social networking via the internet seems to be making people more social and less social at the same time; increasing the amount of people we communicate with, and the frequency with which we do, yet limiting the "need" for actual face to face meetings (familiar, no?). We ended up discussing the beginnings of a project that the two of us would like to work on together, and I'm really excited about it (something I have not yet attempted). Will keep you posted!

Face to face #3 - 1 friend

10 year reunion

Last Saturday night was my 10 year high school reunion. I had a great time! I was originally intending to try and rack up face to face meet ups at the event, and cross off a dozen or so names from the list of friends I still want/have to meet up with. After thinking about the night though, I am very glad that I didn't. It was great seeing everyone again (everyone that was there anyway, about 40 out of a class of 300 +). I got to meet some new people, and speak with a couple of people that I wasn't really close to in high school, and am excited about the conversations we had. When I met up with my college friends it really felt like we were all just hanging out again. This felt like I was being reintroduced to a lot of people. Again, it was a lot of fun.

I talked to my former classmates Brandi, Ulysses, Chris and my good friend Tristan. I also got to meet my friend Michele's husband Ronald. Out of all of my conversations with former classmates and new people I was meeting for the first time, I felt like my time talking to these 5 people held the most potential for hanging out again.

Brandi it turns out is looking to teach, and we also share a passion for writing. She's in the midst of writing a book write now, and we talked about potentially linking up sometime to share/discuss some writing. We were friendly in high school, and we share a mutual best friend (have to call her soon!) but we weren't close friends in high school.

Ulysses (I'm sure I'm spelling that incorrectly) was another person that I felt like was a distant friend, or a friend once removed. We weren't very close with each other, but had some things in common. I learned that in college he was performing with a breakin crew. Awesome. We talked for a little while, and I learned that he married another former classmate, Suzanne. I'm interested in catching up with him some more.

Chris and I were closer than I was to the other two. We hung out with many of the same friends and were in a school play together. He is married now and has a son. He's also really funny, had me crackin up most of the night. He asked for a copy of the videotape of the play we were in. Now I'm on a mission to find it in the attic.

Then there was Ronald, the husband of my classmate and friend Michele. Currently his niece is one of the stars of my 2nd grade classroom. He told me that she often talks highly of her teacher and her class, and that she's mentioned that I remind her of him. He said that he'd heard that before from others as well. We both decided that after some brief yet good conversation, it would be worth it to explore the link and stay in touch. I made the first move by contacting Michele on Facebook, and am hoping things progress from there.

Tristan is one of my best friends since middle school. Even though we haven't hung out in a long while, I always feel like no time has passed when we do chill, however rarely. He lives close by, and an odd set of coincidences linked our activities the week of Thanksgiving. We talked about hanging out soon. I think we said bowling next sunday. Looking forward to it!

Meet-up #2!

Though it's taken a while, I feel like this project has really started now.

Yesterday I hung out with my friend Mike J.




Mike and I took our dads out bowling. We've been friends since we were around 4 or 5 years old. Our dads are both Pastors (Both are "Reverend Jackson") which makes the two of us PKs (Preachers' Kids). Our dads are good friends, and our families have been pretty close for a long time. We had a great time catching up on what we've been up to, work, and the upcoming 10 year high school reunion which Mike organized. We both are involved with music, and intend to work together; though so far, our efforts together haven't been produced more than good ideas. Mike is a college coach, and is really enjoying his job. Our dads ended up beating us 2 games to none, so we're already plotting our comeback. We talked about getting together again before the year is out.

Face to face #2 - 1 friend

Off to a great start!!

Last night I got together with several of my classmates from college at Mason Gross School of the Arts. A couple of months ago I'd suggested (through Facebook) that a bunch of us get together and hang out. It turned out great. We were about 8 strong in Jersey City and had a great time. This was the second attempt and we 6 strong plus several non-MGSAers in NYC. My friend Laurie and I were the only two that were at the last get together as well.

So here is a rundown of who I was able to spend some face to face time with:


This is me with Laurie and Lisa.
I got to meet both of their boyfriends, and they seemed like really cool guys. Lisa is thinking about going back to school, so I'm definitely applauding and supporting that idea, GO LIS! We've also got another friend who Lisa is close to, whom I randomly ran into at a friends party. He's teaching also now. Hopefully we'll all be able to get together again!

Laurie and I have been good friends since college, and we've stayed in touch on and off, always intending to meet up and chill again. She and her boyfriend are both living and working in the city, and are close by the spot where we met up last night. We had a great time catching up, and I'm glad I finally got to meet her Dave! Very cool guy. ALSO... I am anxious to expose Dave to some Taylor Mali, Saul Williams and Shane Koyzcan, as he is not a spoken word fan, and those guys are ridiculous.


Steve was there!! One of my best friends from college and still my favorite self-depricating anarchist funny man. He's living in LA right now and is visiting back in NJ for a while. I'm looking forward to visiting Steve out there one day. It's always great hanging out with Steve, was just like college. We talked and laughed about lots of stuff, and are going to try and meet up again before he heads back.


Kurtis came through!! I feel like Kurt was one of my kindred spirits in college. We didn't hang out much outside of school, but were definitely likeminded and had tons of respect for one another. Kurt is a very talented artist with an incredible mind for marketing and seeing a vision through. We used to talk about planning or working on something together, and now that we're connected again, we just might. We had some great convo w/Shawn.

Steve called another classmate who I hadn't talked to in a very long time. Shawn, my old roommate during my junior year. It was great seeing Shawn. He is a film maker and actor who has also taught overseas. Now I'm looking forward to seeing him in action. I'll be looking to make a show that he's in when it comes up.

It was an awesome night! I look forward to meeting up with everybody again! I missed the last bus by a few minutes thanks to a miscalculation on my part of which subway stop would have a train running....well... on time. THANKFULLY... Laurie and Dave saved the day, by offering me a couch to crash on. I got to tour Dave's studio and watch Yo Gabba Gabba (which rocks more than I'd known) before passing out.

Face to Face #1 - 5 friends

Moving forward

Work has been nuts, as expected around this time of year. Add to that, tutoring, Christmas shopping, various friend/family parties, reunions, travelling, etc, and Nov. and Dec. combine to form one super smothering force. I do however find the time to procrastinate, amid the hustle and bustle of the season.

I also want to find the time to put a dent in this sizable list of friends with whom I'd like to meet. I'm going to start posting ideas on the group page, for possible things to do when I meet up with whoever. I'm hoping that if I post a diverse/eclectic array of possible activities/places, various people will start to chose them, and agree to try and meet up. It's difficult trying to think of what each specific friend might want to do, which is an interesting thought in all of the deeper considerations of this undertaking.

I just wish that I knew the best and most effective way to approach this. Should I be setting these things up like appointments, taking as many as I can handle in a week? Should I take them as they come, waiting for invitations to slowly roll in from the FB group? I know that whatever I decide, it has to be more effective than my current strategy of not having a strategy. Hopefully we'll get this going much sooner than later! I'm ready... how bout you?

Today MIGHT be the day!

I posted my invitation yesterday, and got a response! My former middle and high school schoolmate Claire MIGHT be available to stop by and hang out. It's been years since we've actually spoken at any length in person, maybe since high school. We've always been friendly, but have never really had conversations at any length or hung out. Recently though, through Facebook we've been communicating on and off, commenting on each others posts, pages and occasionally pictures (standard fare for Facebook friends).

Through Facebook I've Learned:
She is engaged and looking for places for her wedding.
She is a teacher.
She likes to run and hike.
She and her fiance Greg enjoy going to vineyards and wineries.

Aside from the fact that my girlfriend and I are not yet engaged, we've got most of these things in common. Claire may not be able to make it, so I may enjoy my tea on my own and try to set things up again another time. We'll see what happens!

Update...

Today was... NOT the day!

Claire wasn't able to make it today, lesson plans became a wrench in the plans... and I DEFinitely understand that! I'm sure we'll link up at some point though, so that blog will come in time.
It was pretty cool though, waiting and wondering how this whole experiment would start off. I kept thinking that I don't want these hang out sessions to be like interviews... although I know i'll have questions for everybody! I'll try and find a balance. So it's back to Facebook now, to find out who the next potential number one will be.

Let's do it

I'm getting restless. I'm ready to get this project off the ground. I've been contemplating when, where and who to start with, but I'm going to take a leap today and throw out an offer. Tomorrow after work, I'll hang out at Starbucks for a bit. Today I'll throw out an invitation for anyone who'd like to meet me there and hang out for a while. I notice that people are joining the Facebook group, which is great! Most seem to be sitting back and watching, so I'm curious to see what the response will be when I post the invitation. This might be too little notice, and the time (4-5pm on a weekday) might not work for a lot of people. We'll see.

Soooo... I guess we're on?

I woke up this morning with thoughts of friendships in the digital age swirling around my head. How seriously do we take friendships that are relegated to keyboard clicks, witty comments and pic surfing? I've always been one to be fine with long distance-friendships, as well as going long stretches of time without contact, then connecting again and treating things like nothing had changed. I know this isn't the same for everyone though. If I hung out or talked to my friends face to face the amount of times that I checked their pages... I would be flooded with "friendship" everyday, several times a day... to the point that it would be impractical, and I'd need to say... "We should take a break...". I guess this is where the digital part helps out. I don't get sick of any of the people on my friends list, and if I did... I can just hide their posts. Yes, I have hidden posts. You kind of have to sometimes I think. Then you can rediscover that person all over again in the future. I'd like to take this moment to point out that I often ramble from tangent to tangent... so I hope that it's tolerable.

I started a Facebook group yesterday for the project, and there are 22 members this morning. Awesome. I'm curious about how many friends they (and you) have, and how many of those friends they consider actual, real-life, face to face friends... or actual friends that they haven't met face to face.

So I was meaning to start this experiment officially on January 1st, 2010... but it seems like things are starting to roll along a little more quickly than expected. Should I just start sooner than I'd intended? Is that against the rules? ...I know that I make the rules... and that it's kind of ridiculous for me to ask myself... but I'd like to know what other people think. Maybe I'll ask the group!

another thought

I DO have great friends! I decided to shoot this idea out to a few people, to get some feedback before posting it on Facebook. The responses have all be positive so far, thanks to the handful of you who shared your thoughts/opinions! You've given me some great points to think about. "What happens to the people that don't want to hang out? Do you delete them from your friends list?" I'd been thinking about this one myself. I think that at the very least, I have a legitimate reason to do so... if not (by virtue of this project) an obligation. I'm interested in what other people think of that question. I think it falls on me to decide why I'm using Facebook in the first place. Is it to connect with and keep in touch with actual "friends?", or to put myself out there for the hundreds of Facebook friends and acquaintances on my list to... keep track of...what I'm up to? ...and for me to do that same? *shrugs shoulders* (I really did shrug after typing that). I'll figure this out eventually. Going live with this today! See you soon?

Just a thought.

If you never signed on to Facebook again... how many actual friends would you lose?

I've been thinking....

I am very thankful for lots of things. High up on the list, are my friends.

I have many good friends, several great friends, and I have 304 Facebook friends. I'm not sure what exactly a Facebook friend is, but I'm sure that I have 304 of them... because Facebook says so. As far as I can figure, a Facebook friend is someone who has either accepted a request from me, or has sent a request to me which I've accepted. Acceptance of the request connects the two (or 304) of us, and allows us to see what each of us has decided to post up to represent ourselves. We can send each other messages, cyber gifts, play games together, and make comments about each other's... stuff.

Lately I've been wondering how close to friendship Facebook friendship is. I've also been thinking about how much I miss some of the friends and family whose names I have listed as friends, but haven't seen (in person) in years. I've been looking at pages and posts of people that are witty, funny, engaging, endearing, interesting, intelligent, quirky, talented, artistic, and genuinely nice; and I've thought about how some of these people might be cool to hang with.

With these thoughts in mind, I've decided to try and attempt something that will be challenging, but hopefully worthwhile. I'm going to try and meet all of my Facebook friends face to face. I'm hoping that at best... I end up with more and closer friends. At worst... I learn a little bit more about the people i've "friended" (as opposed to befriended) and will possibly have fewer names on a cyber list of potential acquaintances.

I am very open to new experiences, and I'm hoping that this will be an opportunity for many of them. I am up for walks, runs, hikes, coffee, shows, sports events, birthday parties, weddings, movies, meals, deserts, etc, etc, etc. I want to know more about my friends than their Scramble score, or who they murdered in Mafia Wars, or what animal they found in Farmville, or what they are fixing for dinner, etc, etc, etc.

These are some thoughts on guidelines (?):

Official start date would be Jan. 1st, 2010. Maybe sooner?

Hanging out does not necessarily have to be in a one on one scenario. If several friends and I are together, it will still count... as long as I have interacted with each person individually at some point for at least several minutes, and in doing so learn something about him or her that I did not know before, or from their Facebook page.

I'd like to take a picture with everyone that I'm able to meet up with.

New Friends (by way of Facebook) are invited to hang out as well, as long as I am still within my 300-365 "total number of friends to meet"-range. I'm guessing that not everyone will want to meet up or hang out with me, for a variety of reasons.

-Maybe you are too far away

-Maybe you don't want to be inconvenienced

-Maybe you are too far away and don't want to be inconvenienced

-Maybe you have no idea who I am and have no interest in finding out

-Maybe you are agoraphobic

-Maybe you don't consider me a friend, and are more comfortable with me remaining only your Facebook friend

There are tons of other wittier maybes that I can't think of right now.

International friends will be a challenge... an amazing challenge! Those of you who live in other countries, or other far away states for that matter... will definitely be the most expensive friends that I've ever made! :) Unless of course within 2010, you are planning a visit to the northeast coast. Then you've done most of the work! I do love to travel though, so international friends are fair game.

My job as a teacher affords me large chunks of the summer to be free. Most travel would be scheduled within this window, but not all.

SO...

It would be incredible to meet everyone! However, I understand if you... my Facebook friends, prefer our digital bond to an actual friendship. I definitely am not assuming that all of the people on my Facebook friends list will want to hang out. I am curious how many of you would. This may not end with me meeting everyone on my list, but I will be happy to have made or rekindled one solid bond/friendship, in the process. If you would like to be a part of this, I'd love to know, and know why. Those that don't, I'd love to know and know why as well. I think we'll both learn something either way.

Am I nuts? Would love to hear thoughts, comments, suggestions, questions, etc.